Ok mini rant time…

I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve wished I hadn’t invested in someone’s services because I did not feel well held.

They didn’t confirm details. They didn’t check in ahead of time. There was a sloppy or non-existent onboarding process. They were late. They didn’t lead and expected me to be leading even though I hired them to be the expert.

You might be this coach, creative, therapist, healer or facilitator and not even realize it.

If your containment, structure and leadership skills are weak, you’re sabotaging your business success.

People won’t trust you and they may not even know why.

They won’t want to come back after working with you.

Same goes for men you date. I promise that if you don’t feel well held, your body will not open to them. You’ll be tense, hypervigilant, and ungrounded.

Seems like an easy solution if you don’t own a business– find men who do this well.

Except that’s not how I see it go for these women.

When you don’t have these skills you’ll be prone to messy dramatic partnerships. You’ll be relying on your partner to have and hold you 24/7 which is more than anyone can reasonably take on.

You’ll feel anxious and unsafe to relax in the connection because you’re so dependent upon it.

It’s not choosing from wholeness and want, it’s choosing from lack and fear.

It’s not inspiring, it’s burdensome.

You don’t have to be solely responsible for these things, you can absolutely delegate and outsource in your business (I do!), and one of the beautiful parts of partnership with a man who wants to hold the masculine pole is receiving this containment, leadership and structure. 

But if your inner masculine (or your Queen if you prefer that terminology) is collapsed and juvenile, you’re not a match for a King.

Learn these skills and watch everyone around you start to trust you more…more trust = deeper intimacy.

So many women come to me thinking they need to be softer, less controlling, and more open… and while they’re often right, the path to getting there isn’t always floral dresses, baking and voice lessons.

When your containment, boundaries, and relationship to structure is solid– softness and openness happens organically. It takes no effort at all.

Erecting your inner Queen, so you can lead from your soft heart,

Caite