This is for those of you who still have an attention span to read something that will take a full 5 minutes 💁‍♀️.

I shared a spontaneous little rant on my instagram stories earlier this week on AI, Botox, and perfectionism that turned out to be very popular (this gives me hope). 

If you missed it, here was my take:

For me, the purpose of social media is connecting with other people, real people. When real people start using AI to write their content and captions, it loses all its value for me.

Even if it was someone’s original idea that AI edited. Because the AI polishes out the quirky, messy, nuance of THAT unique person and it suddenly all sounds the same. It loses an important piece of the humanness of THEM. And I notice that I feel repulsion to AI content now. Anyone else?

I got curious about my repulsion, because there is this thread of heartbreak underneath it. And I realized the heartbreak is for what I make it mean when people start using AI to write their content.

I see someone using AI to write for them and I make it mean:

1. You don’t trust that your authentic voice is valuable enough 💔 OR you value efficiency over relationships 💔💔. Because AI is faster, but it comes at a cost: feeling the human behind the work, and your relationship with yourself that requires courage in sharing imperfect content at a slower speed. 

2. You value polished perfectionism over intimacy 💔. You’re contributing to the over-culture that says we should all be pore-less, smooth, composed (and cater to short attention spans). 

It feels sterile. It feels lifeless. It feels emptier. There’s no eros in it.

Which brought me to my second rant, about Botox. And how these two things are very much connected. I have stopped trying to paralyze my wrinkles away both on principle and because of the terrifying health and relational impacts (that you don’t hear about) ☠️☠️. 

Permanent nerve damage and autoimmune disease aside, there is the emotional and spiritual effect of not being able to scowl or frown or lift your brows in surprise. The nervous system impact and emotional backlog created is no joke.

I look at the lines around my eyes and frequently think “I look older than I should. This isn’t normal.” WHICH IS WILD. Because, it’s not true.

The only reason I have such distorted thoughts is because of the prevalence of women getting Botox and using face-filters on social media to smooth every line and blemish. We don’t know what normal healthy 30, 40 or 50 year olds look like anymore (at least not online).

Which brings me to the principle part: it is women opting in to this insane standard of beauty that perpetuates it. (I know, it’s easier to solely blame men). And we could all just stop.

If no one was getting Botox, I would feel zero pressure to make these lines go away. I only feel that pressure because relative to the women getting neurotoxin, I have more wrinkles.

It was a sobering realization when I saw how complicit I’ve been in this oppressive culture that uses AI images, instagram filters and injectable poison to set the standard for what is beautiful, desirable, and most nauseating… “healthy”. 

Do you know how insidious it is to tell women that their aging skin is not only unattractive but also a sign of poor health? That they should feel ashamed for not taking better care of themselves?! As if lasers and Botox is self-care. THIS IS SO GROSS.

I’m going to tell you a secret: all the best real self-care is free.

Sunshine, nature, sleep, meditation, breathwork, eating slowly, skin-on-skin contact, singing, dancing, story-telling, making art, orgasms, kissing, watching sunrise or sunset, walking barefoot in the dirt or grass, praying, music.

Maybe you’ve also heard the alarming news that:

• Gen Z’s don’t want to have sex anymore,
• what’s cool are flat affects and oversized shapeless clothes,
• and being expressive and empathic is cringe. 

These facts are not unrelated.

You know what else is sexless and devoid of empathy? AI and frozen faces.

The age of technology is killing eroticism in every way. We’ve traded intimacy, mystery, and embodiment for information, performance, and stimulation. 

As a woman who has devoted my life and career to eros, which is ALIVENESS, I just cannot stomach it. And yet, I was temporarily seduced, too by both Botox and AI writing for me. 

Why does it draw us in? 

The pressure to perform to keep up.

Profit over people, corporate interests over humanity, competition over collaboration, detachment over vulnerability. 

Which is rooted in a paradigm of scarcity that says there’s not enough (quality men, money, love, clients, attention) for everyone, so you better be the prettiest, the most entertaining, the loudest, the fastest, the best– at any cost. 

When you sell out your values, you sell out your soul.

All the money, fame, clients, and sexual attention in the world cannot make up for being spiritually impoverished. 

And if you need evidence for that, simply take a look at today’s weapons of mass destruction: spiritually impoverished billionaires. 

All this to say, please consider the true cost of trading intimacy, mystery, and embodiment for information, performance, and stimulation… or using AI to write everything for you, and using Botox to perfect your face.

What if it is the run-on sentences, and the lines between your brows that actually allow other people to be able to FEEL you, and therefore love you?

In fact, there’s good evidence that says it is. 

Perfectionism kills eroticism, 

-Caite