I’ve heard it all:
“You’re still single because you have commitment issues/trust issues/your standards are too high/fill in the blank. You’re single because you’re disconnected from your yearning, you have to yearn harder.
No, no, you have to stop seeking, stop looking and then your person will show up.
Oh no, you have to fully surrender to the possibility of them never showing up, and THEN they show up.
But also you have to be connected to your neediness. And don’t stop yearning. Because that’s the bat signal.”
You wouldn’t believe the corners I have excavated trying to make myself aligned, magnetic, and available for the fuck-yes relationship.
The therapy, the shadow work, the embodiment, the surrender, and the yearning.
It’s not because the 7th layer of my astral body is blocked, or my heart is too guarded after losing Adam, or my karma, or my birth chart, or that I’m not willing to get hurt, or that I’m being superficial, or avoidant. I just haven’t met anyone I REALLY liked, who was fully available too, where there was enough compatibility to make it work, when the timing also aligned in the last 4 years (whom life didn’t forcibly remove from my orbit).
I think I’m single because the thing I desire is uncommon.
Not scarce. This is not the cynical “there are no good men left” thing.
I’ve met, dated, and loved many good men. They really are everywhere.
But, at the risk of sounding *Gasp* hard to please… that isn’t enough for me.
My life is rich, full, beautiful.
In order to be a yes to all that relationships require emotionally and energetically, the potential partner needs to be a clear addition to the already really good thing I’ve got going.
Not perfect, not a myth; but, I am looking for a genuinely rare breed.
I know that, and I’m willing to wait for it.
And in the meantime, I’ll enjoy all the lessons of singledom, lovership, dating, and the almost-but-not-it relationships that come with it,